By Chisa Chervenick

Americans, especially, have a difficult time separating our personal lives from our work lives. These days, technology has blurred the lines between work and personal time even more-so. We may leave the office, but our emails and phone calls come home with us at the end of the day. Many of us don’t really know what we’d do with ourselves if we didn’t have our jobs to report to five days a week. We spend most of our waking hours at work. We tie our identity to our jobs - I’m a lawyer; I’m an administrative assistant; I’m a machine operator- but you’re so much more than that - you are a unique and individual human being with hopes and dreams, with skills and talents, with interests, emotions, intelligence, values, and beliefs that make you so much more than your job.

 Your worth is not determined by your job. What you do for a living isn’t who you are. Your value as a human being isn’t determined by your performance review. Being promoted doesn’t increase your value as a citizen of this planet; missing a project deadline doesn’t make you an irresponsible person; being laid off doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person - it does not mean you are less worthy or diminish your value. What you do is not who you are.

We’re all in an impossible situation right now fraught with uncertainty and confusion. The COVID-19 pandemic is a once-in-a-century crisis of the likes none of us have seen before. Many employees around the world have been laid off by companies put in the difficult situation to try to slow the spread of this highly contagious virus - decisions that aren’t made easily when real lives are impacted. But real lives are at stake. Our daily routines have been stripped away leaving us to contend with a range of emotions free of distractions, from fear to anxiety, depression to relief. We are ALL worried about our finances, from the hourly wage worker trying to put food on the table to the business owner worried about cash flow to the man who watched his retirement money disappear before his very eyes as the stock market responds to economic uncertainty. I can’t promise that everything is going to be okay for everyone - no one can; but what I can promise is that we’re all in this together… alone, at home… but together. We all sink or we all swim; there is no “going it alone” through something like this.

For those of you who may be struggling with this crisis of identity right now, perhaps experiencing the first time in your adult life where you haven’t had to report to work every day, do me a favor - give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel anxious or afraid or lost. However you feel right now is valid. Your emotions are valid. Your concerns are valid. Once you come to terms with your emotions, you may start to wonder- well, what now? How do I stop associating my self-worth with my job? How do I feel “worthy” as an individual while I’m “not contributing” to society? The answer to this is two-fold.

 First of all, please know that you ARE contributing to society right now if you are following the guidance of medical experts and political leaders to stay home and shelter in place. While it may not feel that way, the single greatest contribution that any of us can make to the world right now as individuals is to stay home and slow the spread of this virus. By doing nothing, you are saving countless lives and protecting our healthcare workers. You are single handedly, collectively, helping to prevent our hospitals from becoming overwhelmed. You are ensuring folks who have “regular” medical emergencies, like heart attacks or strokes, are able to get the medical attention they need to survive. You are preserving necessary resources- personal protective equipment, ventilators, doctors, nurses- by doing your part to stem the tide of infections that risk crashing our hospitals to the ground. It is the easiest and most critical contribution to society that any of us can make right now. You are saving lives.

 While you’re sheltered-in-place saving lives, prioritize some time to focus on YOU. Take time for self-reflection. Be intentional about grounding yourself in your own, individual identity absent your career. What are your values? What are your goals? What are your interests? What is important to YOU, fundamentally, at your core- not because societal norms dictate that something should be important to you or that you should have achieved some arbitrary milestone before you turned 40. What do YOU want from life, completely separate and apart from your career? Begin a habit of self-reflection- journal, pray, consult the Tarot deck- whatever your thing may be. Ask yourself two questions: what kind of person do I want to be, and are my daily actions and behaviors aligned with that image of self?

 Cultivate a hobby or interests unrelated to your chosen occupation. Find something you’re passionate about- something that you enjoy- something that fulfills your sense of self unrelated to your job. Do something that’s creatively,  intellectually, or physically stimulating- something that inspires and motivates you to continue to carve out time for yourself once we emerge from this current crisis. Take up painting. Learn yoga. Start writing that book. Learn how to calm your mind through meditation or coloring. Learn how to cook your favorite Indian dish or bake your grandmother’s incredibly complicated, made-from-scratch signature dish.

 And don’t be ashamed if you spend an entire week on the couch binge-watching Netflix and barely holding it together. This is a difficult time for all of us, and we’re all going to handle it a bit differently. Give yourself permission to feel - then use it as an opportunity for self-reflection. Some of us are better equipped to manage our anxiety than others - and that’s okay! But don’t allow yourself to drown in it. (Easier said than done, I know.) You are more than your job. You are more than a title or a salary. You are a unique individual with interests and values, hopes and dreams- feelings and emotions. You are more than your relationship to others. You are more than a wife or a mom, a husband or a brother, a sister or a friend. You are a worthy person all on your own. You have overcome every roadblock that life has placed in your path to date. You are stronger than you think you are. You have a value that cannot be quantified by a paycheck. You have purpose. You are worthy of happiness, of acceptance, of love, of wellness. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, tell you any differently. You deserve good things. Let your light shine- it’s bright enough exactly as you are.

You are far more than your job.

If you are struggling and need someone to talk to, here are some resources:

National Suicide Prevention:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org | 1-800-273-8255

Franklin County Alcohol, Drug, and Mental Health Board Call or Text: 

614.221.5445 *Text Line available Monday – Friday noon to 10 pm